For reflection's sake

Here is something that I wrote more than two years ago. I re-posted it for the first time about a year ago, and now I want to revisit it once more.

i think the happiest people are the ones who manage to live comfortably dynamic lives. somewhere, it seems, there is a balance between holding on to the established and embracing the new that seems to satisfy.

life is somewhat like unfolding origami. our connections to one another are part of a delicate and intricate pattern, and as one unfolds a piece of origami, some faces are folded out of sight, some faces are shown the light, and in all circumstances, the same life - the same sheet of paper - is differently folded and redefined. there are also, however, the central creases and points...the parts of the intricate artistic folding that remain present through the unfolding...and it takes turning the life upside down to hide them from the light.

some of this old community i have established for myself - that is, some of you - are already being folded away from the light. some of you are being revealed. and others of you are without a doubt the people i need to be the central creases and points, the people whose faces i hope to never cease seeing.

true to my origami form, i am being redefined as my story is unfolded. thank you, each of you - old or new to me, loyal or unpredictable, seemingly genuine or seemingly not, for your place in the intricate folding pattern of my pattern of my life. though i can feel some of you falling away, i am glad to have had the time i have had with you. and as new ones of you enter, i smile with excitement. and thankfully, there are the ones of you who can't escape me. i look forward to our lives together.

I'm not really feeling much like expounding upon it. I just wanted to put it up here for reflection's sake.

Thoughts on well-timed country songs

What a nutty few days. Struggles with responsibility, struggles with identity, struggles with confidence. Struggles with the political fates of entire nations and churches. One of those times where you think you probably should be getting more sleep, but somehow you know that more sleep would only go so far. Weight of a thrillingly wonderful and yet impossibly confusing (sometimes) world on your shoulders.

I'm not one for projecting God onto situations which are really quite normal (or just lucky). But what notable good timing when I got in the car in the midst of a day that had already presented serious frustrations and the country station was playing "Jesus, Take the Wheel."

I am always involved in an ever-continuing quest for authenticity in faith. God should be far more than an imaginary friend for adults or a cute, powerful name to give to sheer coincidence. And listening to cheap American Idol country music on Nashville's Big 98 may or may not be a terribly poetic and appropriate moment for finding God. But for me, everything lies with the mystery of life - say, for example, those moments when the weight of the world really is on your shoulders and you truly understand that you can't go it alone. Is it possible that Carrie Underwood's big country hit is revelatory and profound?

I'm inclined to say yes. Crazy.

In other news, I am committing myself to letting go of some my frustration about the PC(USA) moderator election, and I am grateful to Apostle John for his calm wisdom. Good to electronically meet you, John. Perhaps even GA is a "Jesus, Take the Wheel" situation. Perhaps we presbynerds could use a lesson in letting go.

Pardon me for brain-dumping, but one reflection more. I am super into (at least one side of) Ben Harper's most recent album, "Both Sides of the Gun." Particularly the song "Better Way." Goodness, how wonderful.

It's a hot day in Nashville. Hillsboro Village looks lively and wonderful as ever. Perfect day for enjoying some coffee, turning off (or at least turning down) my brain and relinquishing my hold of the wheel.

The New Moderator

I know there are plenty of non-Presbyterians who read this; my profoundest apologies.

I must confess to a desire to know it all, to be the informed and wise party on every issue and kick serious ass in the process. That being said, I must also confess that I know little about the candidates for moderator for the 217th General Assembly of the PC(USA), but I am going to have some things to say anyway.

The elected moderator is Joan Gray.

My new year's resolution was to love everybody, and Gray is not at all outside the sentiment of this resolution. But I wish to state my sadness that everyone keeps clamoring for centrism in this world. Sure, the polarization of beliefs in this country is frightening, but I hold mine strongly because I truly believe them! I am convinced that God's love is not exclusively given to straight individuals. I am convinced that a generous and just Church will only exist when we open our minds and our doors and our ordination standards.

Joan Gray said she felt homosexuality wasn't God's intention for our lives. I want to know what reason she has. But even if she had good reason, I would want to know if she thought it was God's intention for us to tell white lies. Perhaps anyone who has ever told (or continues to tell) white lies should be barred from ordination.

I will be loving and fair and in prayer for Joan Gray. And not the kind of prayer that is "please change her mind, God." I am excited and hopeful for new leadership in PC(USA). But this argument will continue to go around and around and I am hurt and I am worried.